


Messy

by katswriting



Category: Actor RPF, British Actor RPF, Marvel Cinematic Universe RPF
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Mentions of Sex, Romance, Swearing, this is super cheesy im sorry in advance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-13 18:47:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29033424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katswriting/pseuds/katswriting
Summary: Deciding that love just wasn’t worth it, you had made your mind up to no longer let feelings get in the way. Too bad the cute boy across the hall wants to change your mind.prompt: “You’re hot– I mean! It’s hot, and I’m thirsty– wha– FUCK!”
Relationships: Tom Holland (Actor) & Reader, Tom Holland (Actor) & You, Tom Holland (Actor)/Reader, Tom Holland (Actor)/You
Kudos: 18





	Messy

**Author's Note:**

> this is an old one shot I wrote and thought I would finally get around to just posting it on here! 
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy

You hated stairs.

Why you had decided to move into an apartment building that had no elevator was beyond you, but here you were, hauling the last of your boxes up four flights of stairs. You were thankful some friends had come by earlier to help you with the furniture and most of the heavier boxes, but they couldn’t stay the entire time; leaving you with the last of the smaller ones to carry up.

You wiped a hand across your forehead and made a face; it was hot outside and the work of carrying those many boxes and furniture upstairs all day had left you a sweaty mess. You could feel your hair sticking to the back of your neck and all you wanted to do was just take a nice long shower.

“Finally,” you breathed out, as you dropped the last of the boxes in front of your door. You shrugged your bag off your shoulders and placed it on top of a box to unzip it; you knew you had a water bottle in there and you were parched. Mumbling curses under your breath, you rummaged around your bag trying to reach it. Your bag was full of things you had needed for the ride over and you were tempted to just dump it all out instead of digging blindly through everything.

“You alright there?” you heard someone ask from behind you causing you to jump in surprise. Turning around quickly, you saw a boy leaning on the doorframe of the apartment across the hall from yours. He was wearing a white tee, track pants and a backward baseball cap and even though it was a simple outfit, you couldn’t help but noticed how good he looked. His arms were crossed and you tried not to stare at how the sleeves of his tee were making his toned arms look _very_ flattering. Looking at his face again, you see his amused expression and his raised brow and you felt the heat rush to your face as you realize you’d been caught checking him out.

 **“You’re hot– I mean! It’s hot, and I’m thirsty– wha– FUCK!”** you stuttered out, closing your eyes and covering your face with your hands as you finished speaking, embarrassed that you had made already a fool of yourself less than a minute into meeting your new neighbour– your very _attractive_ new neighbour.

Clearing your throat, you gave him a sheepish look. “Let me try that again. I was just looking for my water bottle because its hot outside and I’ve been moving things all day, so yeah,” you trailed off, hoping that this wasn’t awkward as you thought it was.

“I see,” he said as he adjusted the strap of his gym bag on his shoulder. You could feel him looking at you up and down and adjust the hem of your t-shirt, suddenly self-conscious of how sweaty you were.

“I’m Tom by the way. Welcome to the building” he said, stepping forward and sticking his hand out.

“Y/N,” you respond, shaking his hand, noticing the way Tom let your hand linger in his.

“Well, Y/N, I hope I’ll be seeing you around,” Tom gave you a wink as he let go and walked past you, making his way down the stairs until he was gone from your sight.

“Smooth Y/N, real smooth,” you muttered to yourself. Leaning onto your door, you pressed a hand to your cheeks. You could feel the heat on your face and you were sure that the weather had nothing to do with it.

————

This was stupid.

There was no reason to feel this nervous. He’s just a regular boy. A _very cute_ boy.

You paced in the pitch-black hallways outside of your apartment, muttering words of encouragement to yourself under your breath.

You had been watching a horror movie, which you realized now probably hadn’t been the smartest the decision, when your lights had gone off, plunging your apartment into silence and darkness.

Three things had gone through your mind at that moment.

  1. I’m going to die.
  2. Did I pay the electricity bill?
  3. Please tell me I packed some candles.



After finally convincing yourself that a demon was not going to kill you the second you stepped out of bed, you untangled yourself from the covers and made your to the window, sighing in relief when you saw that the entire block had gone dark. Relief quickly becoming frustration as you rummaged through some boxes and failed to find some candles.

Which is why you now found yourself, in your pjs, trying to work up the courage to knock on Tom’s door and ask for some candles. Sure, it was a power outage and not a supernatural being at work, but the movie had put you on edge and there was no way you were staying in a pitch-dark apartment.

“Screw it,” you mumbled, before standing straight and knocking on the door. You heard a muffled “just a sec!” from inside before the door opened a few moments later.

It had been a week since you had moved in and you had only seen Tom a couple times. Quick run-ins at the mailbox, hello’s as you arrived at your apartment at the same time he was leaving his. There hadn’t been much in terms of conversation and you were hoping things would go better than the first day you had met.

Tom stood at the door, a smile on his face as he saw you. He was surprised to see you standing there in the dark hallway with shorts and an oversized t-shirt, but he couldn’t deny that he was happy to see you. Your first encounter was one he hadn’t forgotten, remembering how flustered you had looked after realizing what you had said. Not that he would mention it to you, but he had definitely told his best friend about the “cute neighbour” that had just moved in across the hall.

“Y/N, what can I help you with?” Tom asked as he moved aside from his door, holding it open as an invitation to come inside. You were unsure at first about following him in, technically you two were still strangers, but seeing the smile on his face, you let your guard down and walked in. There wasn’t much to see considering it was pretty dark, but your eyes were drawn to the living room where there was a laptop resting on the couch and a couple lit candles scattered on the table.

“I was wondering if you had some spare candles I could use,” you responded, looking away from the living room and back at him.

“I found these at the back of my kitchen cupboard,” Tom said, running a hand through his hair, gesturing to the living room with his other hand, “I was surprised I actually had any, but those were the only ones I found.”

You felt your heart drop as he spoke. You knew realistically it wasn’t the end of the world, but you really didn’t want to go back to your apartment and spend the night in the dark alone.

Tom watched as you nervously played with the hem of your shirt and noticed the way your shoulders dropped at his response. He wasn’t sure why but he didn’t want you to leave yet, especially not when upset. He glanced over to his couch and cleared his throat.

“Hey listen,” he started, “my laptop’s fully charged and I have a few movies already downloaded. How ‘bout you stay a little longer and we can watch a movie? Beats staying in your apartment alone.”

He watched as your eyes snapped back to his, eyebrows furrowed. He waited nervously for an answer, hoping he hadn’t scared you off by being too forward. Hesitating, you thought about your options; stay here and have the potential of it being super awkward or go back to your apartment, alone in the dark.

“Yeah, that sounds good,” you replied, giving him a small smile. He beamed at your answered and guided you to the couch, rambling off the list of the movie titles he had available. You were hardly listening to what he was saying as you watched him walk ahead of you. He was wearing some grey sweatpants and a tee and his hair was a mess of soft curls that you just wanted to run a hand through.

“Y/N?” He asked, bringing you out of your thoughts. “Any of these sound good?”

You stared at him for a second in confusion before realizing he was talking about the movies and that you hadn’t heard a single option.

“Um the last one sounds good,” you said as you dropped down on the couch, hoping he wouldn’t realize that you hadn’t been paying attention. Tom clicked on the title and set up the laptop so both of you could see properly before sitting down next to you.

“This is my favourite movie, you know?” he said, nudging you gently with his elbow as the movie started. You turned to look at him, his eyes looking excitedly at the screen and you could see him mouth the words to the opening lines. He felt your eyes on him and turned to look back at you, a goofy smile on his face. You couldn’t help but smile back at him before turning back to the screen. You continued watching the movie quietly but you could feel an unspoken tension between the two of you. His body was so close to yours, you could feel the warmth radiating off him and you wanted so badly to just close the space between the two of.

Halfway through the movie you felt Tom’s hand brush your knee and you ignored it at first, thinking it was an accident, but his hand stayed on your knee, his thumb rubbing small circles lightly on your bare skin. Your hand gripped the blanket on the couch next to you as his fingers trailed up your leg slowly, his hand resting on your thigh. You could feel his eyes on you, silently asking permission, not wanting to do anything that would make you uncomfortable. Finally turning to look at him, your fingers laced with his and squeezed slightly letting him know that you were okay with this; that was the signal he needed before pulling you towards him. His lips met yours and you melted into his touch, your hands slipping under his shirt as his hands roamed your body.

Neither of you paid much attention to the rest of the movie that night.

———————–

It had been 5 days since you had spent the night at Tom’s. You had woken up that morning, slightly confused as to where you were, the clock next to you on the bedside table blinking zeros adding more confusion to what time it was. Quickly finding your underwear and clothes, you had snuck out of the apartment before he could wake up. You were not big on the whole “cuddling after a one-night stand” idea. Though you had felt slightly guilty about leaving and left your number on a post-it note on the counter.

Tom had texted you later that day and the two of you had been quick to form a small bond over texts. You would send each other funny pictures that you saw on instagram or rant about customers at work. It was simple and easy; nothing serious and that’s exactly what you wanted.

You turned up the music on the radio as you continued doing your chores, trying to get Tom off of your mind. Your phone was laying on the countertop behind you and you kept glancing at it. As much as you hated to admit it, you enjoyed texting Tom and you were looking forward to when your phone would light up with a new notification from him.

You heard the buzz of the phone and quickly grabbed it, smiling as you saw that it was from Tom; letting you know that he was finally off of work. Sending a quick text back you set your phone down again and tried to focus on your chores, grabbing the broom that you had set against the counter.

You gripped the handle of the broom tightly as you thought about Tom. You wanted to see him again; you wanted to _be_ with him again. You hadn’t been with someone in a while and that night had been everything you had needed; no romantic feelings, just two people using each other. You knew that it sounded crude, but your heart had been through a lot and you opening it up to someone was not something you wanted to do. Rubbing your hand over your face out of frustration, you glanced at your phone through your fingers and reached out for it before you changed your mind.

_Wanna come over?_

You set your phone down and drummed your fingers on your counter as you waited. A few moments passed before you grabbed your broom again, trying to distract yourself from your phone. A buzzing went off signaling a new text and you smiled as you saw his response.

_Be right there ;)_

_———————–_

Two months

It had taken two months for Tom to become your habit, and you his.

The two of you had fallen into a routine. Nights would be spent in each other’s beds, neither of you staying longer than necessary the next morning and you were happy with that. If feelings weren’t involved then there was no risk of having your heart broken again.

You were sprawled out on the couch, flipping through some channels and hoping to land on something good. You winced as you glanced at the clock, knowing you should go to bed, but you weren’t tired in the slightest and you’d rather be aimlessly searching for something to watch rather than lie in bed doing nothing but thinking.

A knock on your door pulled you out of your thoughts and you sat up straight, you weren’t expecting anyone tonight and you had seen too many horror movies to think of a positive scenario. Your phone buzzed on the table next to you, making you jump slightly.

_I’m not a murderer Y/N. Open up, I have a surprise._

You grinned as you saw his text message and got up quickly and unlocked the door. Tom glanced up from his phone as you opened and he smiled brightly.

“Hey,” you said, smiling back and moving aside to let him in.

“Hey,” he said back, pulling you in close to him for a kiss. That’s how things usually went when you’d go over to each other’s places; little time was spent on formalities. Pulling away slightly, you gave him a small peck before taking a hold of his hand to bring him to your room.

“Wait,” he said as he tugged your hand back, not budging from the entrance. You furrowed your brow at him in confusion. “I actually have something planned for tonight,” he continued.

“Oh,” you blinked at him, unsure of why he was over here if he had other things, or other _people_ lined up for the night. You felt a pang of jealousy at the thought of Tom being with someone other than you before shaking it out of your head completely. If he was seeing someone else then you definitely didn’t have to worry about feelings getting caught up in the mix.

Tom rolled his eyes as he took in your expression.

“With you. I have plans with you, dork,” he said teasingly. “Let’s go.” He bent down to grab your shoes and handed them to you, giving you a moment to put them on before he started to gently pull you towards the door.

“Where are we going?” you were stunned, to say the least. Tom and you had never hung out before with the intent of not being sleeping together. And you had certainly never hung out together outside of each other’s apartments before. This whole situation was throwing you off and you had no clue what to think of it.

“Wait, I’m still wearing my pj’s, I can’t go out like this!” you blurted out, looking down at you sweatpants and tee.

“Don’t worry, it won’t matter what you wear,” he laughed as he took in your worried expression, “Relax, you’re going to love it I promise.”

“Can you at least tell me where we’re going?”

“It’s called a surprise for a reason Y/N,” Tom said, pausing in the stairs to look at you, “do you trust me?”

 _Did_ you trust him?

“Fine,” you said, giving him a soft smile, “let’s go do whatever you had planned”

“You won’t regret this,” Tom replied beaming at your response and grabbing your hand as he excitedly pulled you towards the parking garage to where his jeep was parked.

“I already do,” you said under your breath, squeezing his hand to let him know you were only joking.

He burst out laughing at your response

“Please, you know your life would be boring without me,” Tom teased, opening up the car door for you before going over to his side.

Tom was still driving forty-five minutes later, the city lights getting smaller and smaller in the rearview mirror. Music was playing softly on the radio and Tom was signing along slightly under his breath, stopping once in a while to lean forward and concentrate on reading road signs. You didn’t know how he had so much energy this late at night; he had practically talked your ear off for the first half of the ride. You smiled softly as you looked at him, headlights from passing cars illuminating his face momentarily, giving you a moment to study his profile; his sharp jaw, his slightly crooked nose, his messy curls. Feeling your eyes on him, he glanced at you quickly before turning back to look at the road and you could see him try and hold back a smile.

“So,” you started, leaning your head back onto the window, “is this the part where you take me into the woods to kill me, leaving my body to be found by hikers in like 20 years?”

He glanced at you again, raising a brow at your comment. “You watch way too many horror movies, y/n.”

“You aren’t denying it though,” you said grinning at him. You weren’t worried, because against your better judgment you did trust Tom. There was something about him that made you feel safe and made you feel like you didn’t have to worry about anything.

He rolled his eyes at you and nudged you gently with his elbow as he turned the car into a small path. “We’re almost there,” he said and hearing the excitement in his voice made you eager to see what the surprise was. Sitting up straight, you watched as the trees thinned out and gave room to a small clearing.

“Stay here,” Tom said as he reached over to grab a duffle bag from the back seat before exiting the car. You could hear noises coming from the back of the truck and twisted around in your seat to try and see what was happening. You could faintly see Tom’s outline but it was too dark to see much of anything else. Turning back around to face the front, you tapped your feet lightly against the floor, impatient to find out what Tom was doing. A knock on your window surprised you out of your thoughts and you turned to see Tom opening up your door.

“Ready to see the surprise?” He asked as he helped you out of the car. You shivered slightly as you got out, the night air much colder out here in the middle of nowhere than in the city.

“Close your eyes,” he whispered into your ear as he rested his hand on the small of your back to guide you towards the back of the truck.

“Alright, you can open them now,” he said, taking his hand off and giving you a signal to stop walking.

Opening your eyes and looking at what Tom was gesturing to, you couldn’t help but smile. His truck bed was covered in blankets, a few pillows scattered around, and in the corner was a small pile of snacks.

“Do you like it? Best stargazing spot close to the city.” Tom was searching your face for a reaction and you could tell he was nervous about whether you liked this or not.

You weren’t sure how to respond, no one had ever done something this nice for you and looking up at the sky you were amazed at how beautiful the stars were.

“I remember you mentioning stars once in a text and a friend told me about this place so I-“

You looked back from the sky to Tom and you knew the ramblings were due to nerves. Stepping up to him, you wrapped your arms around his neck and hugged him. His arms automatically went around your waist, holding you tighter together.

“So I’m guessing you like it?” He asked, angling his head to be able to look at you.

“I love it. Thank you,” you said, looking up and him and letting him see the sincerity in your eyes.

You gave one last squeeze before pulling away and hopping onto the bed of the truck, taking the nearest blanket and wrapping it around your shoulders. Tom took a seat next to you and did the same, lying back down onto a pillow to look up at the sky. You curled into Tom’s side, his wrapped arm around your shoulders and his thumb rubbing circles on your arm. This was different. You had never been much of a cuddler, keeping physical interactions mainly for the bedroom, and maybe it was the mix of the starry sky above you and the fact that Tom had done for you, but you were ok with this. It was different, but you couldn’t deny that it was nice.

Tom wished this night would last forever as he lied there by your side as the night went on. He loved seeing how excited you’d get when pointing up to the sky and naming out different constellations. It felt natural, being with you. He knew that you didn’t like him like he liked you; you had made it clear that friendship and casual sex were the only things on the table, but being here with you tonight, talking for hours about anything and everything, he could pretend that it was more than what it was.

“Can I ask you something?” Tom asked as he propped himself onto his elbows, turning his body slightly towards you. You propped yourself up as well, mimicking his position as you gave him a slight nod of the head to continue.

“Do you believe in love?”

Out of all the things Tom could have said, this was the last one you expected to hear. Sighing, you let yourself fall back down onto the pillows.

“No,” you paused unsure of whether to continue. Saying you didn’t believe in love was the easy part, explaining why was the hard part. You felt Tom’s eyes on you, waiting for a response and you could practically feel the curiously roll off him in waves. You licked your lips before continuing.

“I’ve never seen love last. My parents, my friends, -” you swallowed hard as memories came rushing back to you. Memories you had tried to forget. “My own relationships.”

“If love is so great then why does it always end up hurting,” you hated how much bitterness was in your voice, but more importantly, you hated how you had let yourself been hurt by the people you trusted, the people who claimed to have loved you. Pressing the heel of your hands to your eyes, you took a deep breath, not wanting to let emotions get to you.

Tom stayed silent as he listened to you. This was the closest he had ever been to having you open up, but he wished he had never asked the question. Seeing you so visibly upset made his heart ache and all he wanted to do was wrap you up in his arms and protect you from anything bad. He reached out and carefully took one of your hands away from your face, intertwining his fingers between yours. You opened your eyes, moving your other hand off your face to rest by your side. Tom could see the vulnerability in your eyes and watched them harden slightly as you swallowed down your emotions. He sighed and gave your hand a small squeeze, wishing that you didn’t guard your heart and emotions so much; he wished you could see that opening up was not something to be afraid of. Not with him.

He tightened his hold on your hand, unsure of what to say and worried that saying the wrong thing might make you shut off completely. His heart fluttered in relief as your squeezed back and turned to look at him. He understood at that moment that you didn’t need someone telling you that everything was going to be okay; you just needed someone there, willing to listen. The two of you lay there for a moment, the silence of the night broken only by the crickets nearby.

“Do you?” you asked, breaking the silence, “believe in love, I mean.”

“I do,” Tom replied as he glanced at you from the corner of his eye. He knew that his feelings for you weren’t love. Not yet. But between the beauty of the stars illuminating the night sky or yours; he would choose yours every time.

—————-

You woke up to the sunlight streaming in through your curtains and glanced through bleary eyes at the blinking lights on your alarm clock, knowing that as much as you wanted to say in bed all day, you had to get up. You stretched your body and looked over at Tom who was sleeping peacefully next to you and smiled as you remembered the events of the previous night. The two of you had gotten in pretty late, crashing on the bed right away and explaining the late rise this morning. It had been an amazing night, a night where you two spent hours talking and simply enjoying each other’s company.

Your fingers traced his arm that was wrapped around tightly around your waist, earning a soft groan from Tom.

“Good morning,” he rasped out, his voice laced with sleep. He pulled your body closer to his burying his face in the crook of your neck.

“Good morning to you too,” you laughed out, his breath tickling the skin on your neck. Your hand went up to his curls, tugging at them slightly as you ran your fingers through them.

“Can we just stay here all day?” You heard Tom mumble, his words muffled by your neck, the feeling of his lips on your skin causing shivers through your body.

You rested your chin on the top of his head and sighed. “You have work today Tom, but I can make breakfast, I’m sure I have enough ingredients.”

Tom moved his head back and reached his hand upwards to cup your neck, pulling you in for a kiss. You leaned back slightly and smiled at his confused expression.

“Let me just brush my teeth first,” you said giving him a quick peck before untangling yourself from him and grabbing an oversized shirt off the floor to cover your naked body.

Stepping over Tom’s duffel bag, you made your way to the bathroom and picked up your toothbrush. You scrunched your nose as you looked at yourself in the mirror; your hair was a mess and you tried to tame it before quickly giving up. You spit out the toothpaste into the sink and your eye caught something on the counter, next to the towels.

Tom’s toothbrush.

You froze.

Slowly setting down your own toothbrush, you looked over your shoulder at Tom’s duffle bag on the floor and towards your bedroom door where Tom was still laying in bed. You leaned forward on the counter, pressing your palms against the cool surface and looked at the toothbrush again.

What we you doing? Having Tom in your bed, talking about making breakfast and spending the morning together? That wasn’t part of the plan.

You had let your guard down last night, letting him in on a non-physical level and you had gotten distracted. He wasn’t supposed to still be here, cuddling with you in bed, and he certainly wasn’t supposed to have a bag of spare clothes in your apartment.

You walked back to your room and stopped at the foot of your bed. “What are you still doing here, Tom?”

“Huh?” he asked, rolling over to look at you, a confused look on his face.

“We don’t do this,” you said, gesturing your arms to point out the situation, “it’s not what we had agreed too.”

He sat up, sleep no longer clouding his eyes as he realized what you were talking about. He looked up at you as he ran a hand through his hair. “But last night… I thought-”

“You thought wrong Tom.” You shut your eyes as you continued speaking, not wanted to see the hurt on his face. “Last night was nice, but that’s all it was. You need to leave.”

“Y/N. I- Can we just talk about this?” he asked and you could hear the desperation in his voice. You walked over to your dresser and pulled out a pair of jeans, tugging them on quickly.

“Fine,” you swallowed hard, guilt hitting you hard as you saw a glimmer of hope in his eyes. “If you won’t leave, then I will. You can let yourself out.”

You turned and left the room, trying not to slam the door on your out of the apartment. Once out in the hallway, you leaned back on the wall and took a shaky breath, running your hands down your face in frustration. Pushing yourself off the wall, you started making your down the stairs and as you walked away from your apartment, away from Tom, you couldn’t be sure that you were making the right decision.

————————

6 new text messages.

3 voicemails.

Countless knocks on your door.

And you ignored every single of them.

 _It’s easier this way._ You thought to yourself, but you knew you were lying to yourself. It had been a week since you had stormed out of your apartment. A week since you had spoken to or seen Tom. And even though you were trying really hard to not to, you missed him.

At first, you thought you just missed the physical moments you had with him, but as the days went by, you realized that it was _him_ you missed.

You pushed the thoughts away and squeezed the rag you were holding tightly as you wiped the counters clean. Trying to focus on the patterns you were making with the cloth rather than Tom. You heard a knock at your door and you gripped the edge of the counter. _Why won’t he just give up_? You stay silent, knowing that he would just give up and go back to his apartment when you wouldn’t open the door.

“Y/N,” you looked at the door in surprise; Tom had never tried to speak through the door before, “Can we please just talk? Just let me explain, I’ll leave you alone after. If that’s what you want.” His voice was quiet and had you not been standing near the door you would not have heard it.

You slowly made your way to the door, second-guessing yourself about your decision to open it. But avoiding him had gone on long enough; you may as well finish things now.

Your heart made a small skip as you saw Tom standing in the hallway. He looked up in surprise, clearly not having expected you to open the door. He took a small step forward, hand starting to reach out towards you before he paused, dropping his arm to his side. You pressed your lips together and moved aside, giving Tom room to enter your apartment. Shutting the door behind him, you turned to face him, taking a moment to look at him. He stood stiffly, his hands stuffed in his pockets; you could tell that he was nervous.

“Look, this clearly got messier than we intended, but it’s not too late to pretend that we never met, pretend that this never happened.” You blurted out, wanting to get this over with as least painlessly as possible.

“Not too late to…” Tom trailed off incredulously, looking sharply at you. He pulled a hand out of his pocket and ran his hand through his hair in frustration.

“Don’t you get it, y/n?” he asked, taking a deep breath, “that’s the whole fucking problem, it _is_ too late. I can’t stop thinking about you and maybe yeah, I should have stopped this earlier, but I’d rather have a small piece of you, than nothing at all.” 

You started at him in surprise, your mouth slightly parted as you took in what he was saying. After that morning when you had left, you had gotten the suspicion that he may have been developing feelings, but having him stand here in front of you expressing them made you unsure of how to answer.

“I know that you’ve been hurt before, but you- I thought that you felt something here as well” he breathed out, shoulders slumping slightly as he spoke, “Don’t you miss it? Don’t you miss _us_?”

“I-” you stuttered out, not knowing what to say because you _did_ miss him, but telling him that would make it harder to end things, “It’s not you, Tom, it’s me.”

You wanted to smack yourself as soon as you said the words, knowing how cliché they sounded. You clicked your tongue on the back on your teeth and looked up towards the ceiling.

“It’s not personal Tom, I just jumped in way too fast into this and I have to back out and-”

“Why do you keep running away?” Tom interrupted you, taking a step closer to you, “Why are you so scared of letting someone in”

“Because I like you!” you blurted out, running your hand across your face in frustration, “Ok? Is that what you want to hear? Because I do.” You closed your eyes as you finished speaking, the revelation taking you by surprise, but as you paused to think about it you realized that you did like Tom.

You had been too distracted on making sure that Tom wouldn’t get feelings for you, that you had missed the signs that you were also falling for him.

“Is that such a bad thing?” Tom asked, pulling you out of your thoughts.

You looked at him and took a shuddering breath. Tom was looking at you with such conviction and you could feel the walls around your heart crack slightly.

“It terrifies me,” you whispered, looking down at the floor, “I-I don’t want to get hurt again.”

Tom took another step closer, his body now right in front of you. He cupped your face with his hands and brought your chin up to look at him. Your eyes kept their gaze downwards; you wanted to stand your ground and you knew that looking into his eyes would make you soft.

“I promise that I’ll never hurt you,” Tom said as he bent his neck slightly, angling his head to try to find your eyes.

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep Tom,” you gave him a sad smile as you told him this, finally looking up at him. You wanted to believe him, you really did but he wasn’t the first that had made that promise to you.

His hands moved downward, sliding down your shoulders until he grabbed your hands in his.

‘Do you trust me?” he asked, echoing the similar question he had asked the night he had taken you stargazing, except this time you knew there was more to the question. He wasn’t simply asking you about a night out, he was asking you to trust him with your heart.

You swallowed hard, your breath catching in your throat as you realized that you did trust him. Tom had found a way in, found a way to make you happy in a way that you hadn’t been in a long time.

“Yes,” you told Tom, your gaze unwavering as you looked at him, a small smile forming on your lips. Tom broke out into a smile, his arms wrapping tightly around your waist and he lifted you up. Yelping out in surprise, your arms reached around his neck while your legs wrapped around his waist, resting at his waist. You leaned forward in his arms and kissed him and melted into his touch. It was different from your previous kisses; slow and deep. There wasn’t the usual urgency to get into each other’s pants behind it and you enjoyed every moment to it.

Your chest was warm, full of giddy excitement and in this moment, in Tom’s embrace, you thought to yourself, _maybe, just maybe, love wouldn’t be so bad this time._


End file.
